My Conversation with Richard Donner

A former family friend friend works in the publicity department of a major film studio, so we used to get invited to a lot of industry/press screenings and film opening events. In the fall of 2003, I was lucky enough to have been invited to a screening of the movie "Timeline," directed by one of my all-time favorite filmmakers, Richard Donner.

For the uninitiated, Donner is the director of iconic films such as "The Omen," "Superman," "The Goonies" and all four of the "Lethal Weapon" movies. He's also and old-school television director with shows like "Kojak," "Perry Mason," "The Man FROM U.N.C.L.E." and, most importantly (in my humble opinion) "The Twilight Zone."

No promise was made to me that I would be able to do anything more than shake hands with Mr. Donner and say "nice movie," at the end of the "Timeline" screening.

I had a litany of questions at the ready, just the same. My voracious appetite for watching films was starting to get competition from the hunger for reading about films. I'd always especially loved reading books on directors ever since picking up a dog-eared copy of Hitchcock/Truffaut in junior high school.

Before becoming a director himself, Truffaut was first a writer—then the editor—of the venerable French film magazine Cahiers du cinema.
The month before the screening, I had devoured the Cameron Crowe book Conversations with Wilder, wherein Crowe (another writer-before-director [the film "Almost Famous" is a loose adaptation of his teenage years writing on the '70s rock music scene for Rolling Stone]) did an extensive set of interviews with Billy Wilder, director of classic films such as "Double Indemnity," "Some Like it Hot," "Sabrina," and "Sunset Boulevard," to name a few.

Back to the list. There were important things I needed to ask and tell Mr. Donner:

• The 1978 film "Superman" was my first midnight movie, and a great experience for a 6-year-old to become even more nuts about comic book heroes on the screen.

Moreover, the John Williams "Superman" score is much more exciting and visceral than any the "Star Wars" or "Indiana Jones" scores. So there, Lucas.

• Donner was the first westerner to direct Jet Li (in "Lethal Weapon 4")—ostensibly the largest action film star in all of Asia—easily the equivalent of Mel Gibson in that part of the world. What was it like to work with Li? And how in the hell did Donner convince Li, who was always the hero in Chinese-language film, to be the villain in an American-made action movie?

The screening ended, and Donner stood up and offered a brief, "thank you for watching my movie," and he and his wife Lauren (Schuler-Donner—producer of all of the "X-Men" films) whisked away to the reception area by handlers. Well, there goes my chance. I went into the reception with the friend who was my "plus-one" and began to enjoy some hors d'oeuvres and free-flowing wine, courtesy of the studio.

What I did not expect, five minutes later, is to have Mr. Donner escorted over to my table by my Paramount friend, nor did I expect to hear the words, "Dick, this is Mike Frandy. He's a big fan of your work, and really wanted to meet you." Oh hell…I momentarily froze.

[Internal Dialogue (ID): Do something, idiot! Brain to mouth. Come in!]
Um, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Donner.

He smiled and gave me a very firm handshake, and said, "Call me Dick." [ID: Gulp! No way. This is not happening.]

Pleasure to meet you…Dick. And I got exactly zero-point-zero of my questions or comments conveyed to him.

I complimented Timeline (ultimately, not a great movie, but fun Saturday afternoon/popcorn fare).I told him that the medieval action parts of the story reminded me a lot of the action and pacing in the '30s Errol Flynn movie "The Adventures of Robin Hood."

Dick stated, "I was a huge fan of that movie, and it's always been an influence in how I make movies.”

[ID: SCORE! One for Frandy. Whew.] I also stated that the fight choreography—especially the swordplay—was reminiscent of Coppola's "Dracula."

[ID: Uh-oh. Mentioned another guy's movie. A contemporary. You jackass.] "I LOVED that movie. Francis did a really great job with that story."

[ID: Oh my goodness—Dick's still smiling. You didn't screw up that badly. Keep going.]

I then asked Dick if he knew and/or was friends with the late director Boris Sagal—who also was in Rod Serling's stable of directors for episodes of "The Twilight Zone," and the director of one of my absolute favorite movies, 1971's Charlton Heston post-apocalyptic zombie film "The Omega Man."

Dick's face lit up, and he said, "Oh yes—I knew Boris very well.
He was a real sweetheart of a guy. His family came over from Ukraine, and his brother was an opera singer and a circus clown. Tragic how he died."

True. (Sagal, also the father of Katy Sagal [she played Peg in the '80/90s sitcom from "Married With Children"] was killed in a freak accident during production of the made-for-TV movie "World War III," when he was nearly decapitated after walking into the tail rotor blades of a helicopter.)

For the entire duration of my chat with Donner, I was getting bewildered (read: "WTF") stares from a buddy of mine (a film critic for a local NYC radio station)—who desperately wanted some face time with Dick—and was baffled by my luck as a non-industry person to have this one-one-one time.

I then said to Dick that as much of a great time I was having chatting with him, it appeared that there were a multitude of legitimate press people with whom he probably need to speak.

Coincidentally, the friend who arranged the whole meeting was approaching us to have Dick break away to deal with the press. I told him that it was a great pleasure to have met him and that I genuinely appreciated his taking time to speak with me. "It was great chatting with you, too. The pleasure's all mine."

He shook my hand again, smiled, and was taken out onto the floor to speak to the waiting press.

He couldn't have been more wrong—the pleasure was, most assuredly mine. We talked about nothing I had set out to talk about, yet it was one of the best conversations of my life.

The Problem With Sex Cruising in Forest Park (Kew Gardens, Queens, NYC)

I live in Kew Gardens, Queens with my lovely wife and our 9-year-old dog. Three years ago, we purchased our gorgeous early-'30s apartment on the sixth (top) floor of a stately four-building complex which is actually inset into the footprint of Forest Park. We are about a ten-minute walk from the major subway arteries into Manhattan at Queens Boulevard, and we're even closer to the Long Island Rail Road—which affords me a 17-minute commute into Penn Station. The neighborhood also has great shopping, dining and is in walking distance to the best art house theater in the five boroughs. Unfortunately, as ideal and bucolic as the neighborhood is, we're not without a growing problem in people soliciting and engaging in sexual activity out in the roads and trails of Forest Park.

As soon as the outside temperature reaches about 50°, there's a proliferation of adult males cruising for sexual partners on the closed (former vehicular-only, now pedestrian-only) stretch of Forest Park Drive which begins at Metropolitan Avenue and ends at Woodhaven Boulevard—and on the myriad hiking/equestrian trails. What's more, the post-coital detrita and debris (including, but not limited to, ejaculate-filled condoms and their wrappers & excrement/lubrication-smeared paper towels) are usually littered about the otherwise pristine natural surroundings—leaving a hazard for adults, children and pets alike—not to mention the questions which must be raised by naturally curious children about encountering these foreign objects.

So, what's the answer? I'll admit that I'm not sure. A band of like-outraged citizens with night vision goggles and 1,000-candlepower spotlights when the activity begins? Posting photos of the perpetrators on the Internet to perhaps embarrass them? Probably not. But, I'm of the opinion that it's up to the combined wisdom of the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation and NYPD to combat the offensive activity. There's a nice recap of the letter of the law here (on a naturist site, nonetheless) http://naturistaction.org/StatesFrames/State_Laws_Frames/New_York_Laws/body_new_york_laws.html

I have to emphatically state that I'm not anti-gay. I am, conversely, anti-sex in public parks—and it just happens to be the the majority of the coital participants in the sex-in-the-park game over by my residence happen to be homosexuals. Do not mistake my outrage at the issue at hand for homophobia.

UPDATE: Local newspaper coverage of the issue:
http://www.queenscourier.com/articles/2009/11/18/news/top_stories/doc4afaf5e72b56d735541480.txt
http://www.queenstribune.com/feature/PleasureInThePark.html

Pharma Experience

In the shameless self-promotion category, I submit the following information—in the event that you're searching for a senior graphic artist who has pharma experience. I'm a stickler for both brand guideline and FDA adherence, I can construct the hell out of PI's ("Patient Information," for the uninitiated [those two pages of technical gobledegook after only one page of a pharmaceutical print ad]) and have worked on the following accounts:

KEPPRA (UCB, for juvenile epilepsy)
PREVACID (TAP, for acid reflux disease)
ARICEPT (Esisai/Phizer, for alzheimer's disease)
ASCENSIA Breeze & Countour (Bayer, for diabetes testing)
BOOST (formerly Mead-Johnson [now Nestlé], for adult nutrition)
ENFAMIL (Mead-Johnson, for pediatric nutrition)
COLACE, PERI-COLACE and SENOKOT (Purdue, for various laxatives, etc.)

Please feel free to review the entirety of my experience at:
http://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelaaronfrandy

or email me at: me (at) michaelaaronfrandy.com

What's a "point?"

The point is the most common unit of measurement in graphic design. One point is equal to one seventy-second of one inch, or approximately 0.0139".

For type, the point size of a character and/or lines of text can be calculated by measuring from the baseline (the line upon which the bottom of the characters rest) to the height of the capital letter(s). That measurement, in inches, is then divided by 0.0139 to get the approximate point size. A graphic designer or typographer can usually round up or down to get the correct, specific point size.

typographically bereft:

i refuse to be directed set type which has no sense in its
relationships. find the harmony between the organic shapes in the words
and characters.

It sucks when you're in a hurry to get to work, but really have to poo.

Where was the Green Lantern of the Krypton sector of planets when it exploded?

I'm still convinced that the Oans dropped the ball on this one...

Where was the Green Lantern of the Krypton sector of planets when it exploded?

—Michael Aaron Frandy

Bob Rozakis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Rozakis) answers:

As coincidence would have it - assuming you believe that there are coincidences in comic books - the Green Lantern assigned to the space sector in which Krypton was located was Hal Jordan's old pal, orange-skinned, bird-beaked Tomar-Re. As recounted in "The Greatest Green Lantern of All" in SUPERMAN #257, the Guardians were aware of Krypton's peril and had Tomar-Re working behind the scenes to delay the planet's destruction.

Unfortunately, Tomar-Re was blinded on an unrelated mission and was unable to do anything as the planet reached critical mass and exploded. He counted this as his greatest failure until years later, when the Guardians told him of the lone child who had escaped the doomed planet and had grown up to be the greatest hero in the universe.

(from: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/bobro/104371636880146.htm)